the Ella project

christina may be on to something here….

There was a time in my life where I could not understand romantic relationships. The idea of spending so much time with one person seemed very dull and I, being a child of A.D.D, have always feared boredom. My mind played an endless loop of running out of things to say and thinking that there is something else out there. Luckily, I’ve matured and learned that the idea that played in my head is not reality. When a person is interesting and when you have things in common there is no dullness. Instead, there are witty conversations and the opportunity to grow together.

This is all well and good if we actually spent any real time together. Although we are living in a time where we are more connected than ever, we actually spend less time connecting with each other. At any given moment you can find me via email, on Gchat, on facebook, twitter, Blackberry Messenger, text and if you’re feeling up to it you can, gasp!, also call me. This also rings true for 99% of my friends. We have gone from bright and beautiful social butterflies to its 2 dimensional emoticon counterpart. You know what I’m talking about, the kind that flutters for two seconds and then remains stagnant.

The more time that passes the more we focus on our online persona. I’ll be honest, I have a friend who I have entire conversations only using emoticons.

Me:  and then he said

Her: what? Did you do this: O_o

Yes, it’s easier to send someone a text rather than call them. Or catch up via email than meeting someone for dinner. But there is something about human contact. Something about actually hearing someone laugh rather than see an “lol”. In Zadie Smith’s review of The Social Network she mentions us evolving from “Humans 1.0 to Humans 2.0”. The ones that want to connect with people through sight and touch and those who connect via “tweets” and status.

Don’t get me wrong. I love technology. There was a time when my mom spent hundreds of dollars on phone cards to the Dominican Republic. Now? She can use the internet and call for very cheap or actually see the people she loves through skype ( my mom is technologically challenged, I’m sure this is like magic for her). Now we can see our loved ones across state lines and continents. Skype is single handedly saving long distance relationships.

Growing up I used to watch Sabado Gigante where they would show how one day we would be able to video chat. It was this old Zach Morris looking phone with a computer attached. I was so shocked and amazed at 12 years old. Last night I watched an iPhone commercial about video chatting.  I felt the same way I did at 12 years old. Technology really amazes me in a way I don’t think it does to the 12-18 year olds now. They text and write a certain way and this is even evident in the classroom. My friend, a teacher, got an email from a student written the way they would on an instant messenger (H8t3r!LOLZ)

In Zadie Smith’s article she has a foot note which says

“For me, text messaging is simply a new medium for an old form of communication: I write to my friends in heavily punctuated, fully expressive, standard English sentences—and they write back to me in the same way. Text-speak is unknown between us. Our relationship with the English language predates our relationships with our phones.”

This is the way I feel about people learning to interact with each other in person rather than via text, twitter and facebook. Human beings learned about relationships by relating with each other. Now they’re learning about relationships through the veil of technology. So I say let’s enjoy the benefits of technology but let’s also keep in touch with our humanity. Let’s meet each other for drinks, dinner, laughter and hugs. Sounds ridiculous? Maybe. But I would much rather be a vibrant social butterfly than a 2 dimensional emoticon.